How to Have [a] Better [Appreciation of the Opposite] Sex

I carry a thermos of water and my iPhone with me everywhere. I have an aversion to cellulose sponges. I take an hour to get ready for special occasions.

I expect my husband to know these things. We’ve been married 2 years, 205 days. We met 4 years, 224 days ago. Because of a great iPhone app called Lifetimer, I also know my cat bit my husband 46 days, 16 hours ago and my daughter is 278 days, 6 hours old.

Guys must wonder why girls get into a tizzy over some things. We strive for perfection and precision. We are able to envision the ideal, and must adapt to the real.

The older I get the more accepting I become of almost perfect. Or well-intended. Or uniquely flawed.

Raise your hand if you’re a guy. I hope there are plenty of guys reading this blog. Toward a better understanding of the opposite sex (which should instead be called the complementary sex—and I like the homonym there), I subscribe to Thrillist. I read the Art of Manliness. At the airport, I’ll thumb through Men’s Health. After all, when I’m floundering, I’ll ask my dad for advice.

I wonder if guys can grasp what impressions they might leave on their daughters. If we’d had a son, would my husband be more determined to set a manly example? Will he talk to our daughter as much and he would’ve talked to a son?

I’ve inherited from my dad a set… of principles. (I was going to say a set of balls, and thought better of it.)

There was that one time he said to me, “Michelle: You gotta have balls.” I’ll never forget it.

He’s a principled man and I’m a principled woman and I attribute my stubborn adherence to a moral code to him. His moral code is probably more upright than mine—I wouldn’t say we share the same code, but a moral, ethical code nonetheless.

I loved what he said at our wedding. This man of few words gives great speeches. He told all the parents out there, “When you realize you have a sensitive, emotional child, you have to nurture that, because it could manifest as creativity and talent.”

(I think that’s why they made me practice piano in the scary basement; although it didn’t feel like nurturance at the time.)

What will my husband say at our daughter’s wedding?

How do we improve the relationships between men and women, be they husband and wife or father and daughter?

Please leave your ideas in the comments section. We’d love to hear your anecdotes and advice.

My Dad and I dancing at my wedding.

About MommyTheorist

Editor, writer, photographer, and new mom
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4 Responses to How to Have [a] Better [Appreciation of the Opposite] Sex

  1. Dorothea Duenow says:

    Love your dad’s quote about discovering that you have an emotional, sensitive child. My daughter’s like that (even though I’m really not) and after two years of dancing around each other, she and I have finally developed a way of communicating. My husband is really the more sensitive, emotional parent and we joke often that I’m the “husband” in the relationship. That said, you would think that he and my daughter (being so similar, in looks AND personality) would share some spiritual bond or natural kinship. This has not been the case thus far. She is like a cat to him. She only comes to him and purrs when mom has long left the building and she’s in need of something. He, on the other hand, treats her the same way he treats my son, and she seems to want (demand) “special” or at least “different” treatment. I’m curious to see how their relationship will evolve.

  2. Catherine says:

    I love your voice. For the past few days it’s been the first thing I read in the morning.

    • That’s so nice. I find that readers are most suggestible before coffee! Ideas come to me at night, right when I turn out the light, of course. Then I snap it back on and take notes, knowing the cutest baby sounds will wake me at 7AM. I polish in the morning. Thank you for reading.

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